Pleasure during menopause? Yes, you read that right – it’s not an oxymoron. The media often makes menopause sound like the end of intimacy, but that portrayal is a little sensationalized. Sure, menopause brings many challenges to sexual intimacy – drops in libido, vaginal dryness, and mood swings – to name a few.
But here’s the thing: these changes don’t mean the end of intimacy. They do, however, require some adjustments in perspective and a new approach to pleasure. With the right tips and strategies, which we’ll provide below, you can have a fulfilling sex life – and yes even orgasm again!
Why can’t I orgasm anymore after menopause
It all has to do with hormones – and how they change. While many of the symptoms associated with menopause are physical, hormone changes also play a significant role in affecting your mental and emotional state.
During menopause, your body experiences a significant decrease in estrogen, which is your primary driver for healthy blood flow and the health of genital tissues. As estrogen levels drop, the decreased blood flow can present an extra challenge in reaching orgasm and getting aroused. It can also contribute to vaginal dryness and thinning of the tissue in the vagina known as vaginal atrophy, which can make sex during menopause painful.
Testosterone, though produced in smaller amounts in women, also plays a key role in sexual health. It is essential for libido and sexual arousal. As testosterone levels decline with menopause, many women experience a decrease in sexual desire and arousal, which can make orgasms harder to achieve.
Studies support that these hormonal changes heavily impact your sexual experience. It’s definitely not in your head, and you’re not overreacting.
How to improve your chance of orgasm during menopause
The answer here is a combination of proactive and reaction strategies to both minimize discomfort and increase arousal.
1. Address vaginal dryness with lubricants and moisturizers
Vaginal dryness is one of the most common challenges during menopause, which can ruin intimacy with friction and discomfort that can feel painful instead of pleasurable. First thing is to get this under control.
Experiment with different methods to help reduce dryness, you may need a combination of things. Keep a good quality vaginal lubricant by your bedside at all times. Look for water-based lubricants that mimic natural lubrication without irritating sensitive tissues, like Pjur Aqua.
Explore vaginal supplements, like vitamin E, to help hydrate vaginal tissues. Vaginal moisturizers are an excellent way to maintain moisture levels and help combat the discomfort of vaginal dryness. Unlike lubricants, which are used just before sex, moisturizers work overtime to hydrate and maintain healthy vaginal tissue. Kindra's V-Hydration Relief Duo is a great moisturizer to support arousal and dryness together. Stocking these essentials means menopause symptoms don’t have to stand in the way of intimacy.
2. Try hormone therapy for symptoms management
Hormone therapy is one of the most effective ways to address a variety of menopause symptoms, including vaginal dryness, hot flashes, and low libido. By replenishing the hormones your body is no longer producing, hormone therapy can improve your overall sexual health and comfort. There are several options available, such as localized estrogen treatments (creams, rings, or tablets), which specifically target the vaginal area and restore moisture and elasticity to vaginal tissues.
Estrogen therapy helps maintain vaginal health and supports natural lubrication, while other hormone therapies can address symptoms like hot flashes and mood changes that often accompany menopause. Consulting with your doctor is essential in finding the right hormone therapy for you. A tailored approach can lead to significant improvements in your sexual function and overall quality of life during menopause.
3. Strengthen your pelvic floor with exercises
Pelvic floor exercises, such as Kegels, are an excellent way to enhance sexual function by improving blood flow to the genital area. Strong pelvic floor muscles contribute to increased sensitivity from better blood flow, which can lead to better orgasms. Regular Kegel exercises can also help improve bladder control, reducing symptoms of incontinence, which can also affect menopausal women and their confidence during intimacy. If you really want to level your pleasure up with pelvic floor training, try pompoir, which is the art of vaginal pelvic floor training aimed at more intense orgasms.
4. Explore vibrators recommended by doctors
Vibrators are not just for pleasure; they’re also recommended by doctors as a way to increase arousal and improve orgasm potential. Well, certain ones are recommended by doctors, like Crescendo 2 and Legato. Vibrations on the genitals help increase blood flow and enhance sensation, which can help with those who experience decreased sensation on their clitoris or genitals due to estrogen drops.
Crescendo 2 is a bendable vibrator that can adapt to your body, sending targeted stimulation wherever you need it with its 6 powerful motors - internally or externally. While Legato is a flexible external vibrating ring for women designed to stimulate the entire vulva and labia for fuller, more even arousal. Even better – it can be used during intercourse to keep arousal going throughout. It’s designed with a large gap in the middle to accommodate a partner or another sex toy. You have options to still find pleasure in the pause with these vibrators.
5. Increase foreplay to enhance arousal
Get comfortable with the idea of longer foreplay. During menopause, your body make take longer to reach full arousal, which is completely normal. Don’t rush the process, as trying to be intimate without being sufficiently aroused can lead to a negative experience – or pain. Take the time to explore and connect with your partner before jumping into intercourse. Spend more time kissing, touching, engaging in oral sex to build excitement and enhance intimacy. By slowing down and prioritizing foreplay, you give your body time to relax, increasing sensitivity and preparing it for the most satisfying sexual experience.
6. Make time for intimacy
Life during menopause can be stressful, and stress can interfere with your ability to enjoy sex. It’s essential to carve out time for intimacy with your partner, free from distractions and external pressures. Creating a relaxing, stress-free environment can help you feel more connected to your partner and open to pleasure. Consider setting aside regular time for physical closeness, whether it’s through intimate conversations, cuddling, or sexual activity. Improving your emotional intimacy can help your body and mind respond better during sexual encounters, leading to more satisfying experiences.
7. Exercise regularly
Regular exercise is key to overall health and sexual well-being. Not only does it improve cardiovascular health, but it also helps increase blood flow to the genital area, which is essential for arousal and orgasm. Exercise helps release endorphins, which reduce stress and improve mood, making it easier to connect with your partner emotionally and physically. Activities like yoga, swimming, and walking can improve flexibility, pelvic strength, and endurance, all of which contribute to better sexual experiences. Exercise is one of the elixirs of a sex life.
8. Consider topical arousal gels for extra stimulation
If you’re experiencing decreased clitoral sensitivity or trouble becoming aroused, try topical arousal gels, like Foria’s arousal oil, which are designed to be used externally to enhance blood flow and increase sensitivity in the genital area. These arousal gels can help you respond better to sexual stimulation.
Takeaway
Menopause changes how your body responds, but it doesn’t erase pleasure - it just asks you to get to know yourself in a new way. With a little curiosity and the right support, you can rediscover arousal in ways that feel fresh, responsive, and entirely your own. Addressing dryness, moving regularly, and staying curious about your body all help - but so does choosing the best vibrator to help enhance pleasure during menopause.
